3 Fundamental Techniques To Help You Deal With People
26 August 2022 | 0 min read
Fundamental Techniques Of Handling People
Insights From 'How To Win Friends & Influence People' by Dale Carnegie
We deal with other people all the time – friends, relatives, colleagues.
In the first of four main sections of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, we learn the fundamental techniques of how to deal with people.
Here are the most relevant three.
Principle - 01
Is don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Remember that old saying: “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”.
The point here, is that we human beings hate admitting that we are wrong.
It is even worse if someone criticizes us. Carnegie uses various examples of notorious criminals like Al Capone who never admitted to his own mistakes even to himself.
"Condemnation and complaints elicit negative behavior and are hence counter-productive," he says.
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Principle - 02
is to give honest and sincere appreciation. This is 'the big secret of dealing with people', says Carnegie. The only way to get someone to do something is to make the other person want to do it.
Of course, you can use force or threat, but they have repercussions of hate and revenge.
The most powerful tool is appreciation. People don't react well to criticism, and work best when appreciated honestly and sincerely.
Principle - 03
is to arouse in the other person an eager want. “He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.” This is what Henry Ford had said about the art of dealing with the people. Here’s what he means.
We live in a symbiotic world. We need things and favors from others. Too often, we only look at it from our own perspective.
You must start seeing from the other person's point of view. That’s when you entwine your desire with the other’s want, making them feel encouraged to work with you for mutual benefit.
Without this, you'll walk alone.